In EVERYTHING I do, let it be pleasing to the Lord. Whether at home, at work, or at play, every hour, everyday!
So here I go again, again
I've let myself get spread so thin
I can see right through my skin
And I don't like what I'm finding in my heart
So many different voices call
And I try hard to please them all
I run in circles 'til I fall
So I'm falling on my knees and praying
Please, please, please onoy You, only You
Please, please, please take my heart and make it true
Let everything I say and everthing I do
Please, please only You
Please only You
For every moment of my time
For every thought that fills my mind
For every melody and rhyme
This is the prayer that I'll be praying
This is what it means to be
The reason why I live and breathe
To know that I am totally existing for Your pleasure
I'm still learning but I know
As this becomes my only goal
The more I find my heart and soul is filled up with joy when I
I please only You
I please only You
Please only You
Let my meditation be pleasing to Him; As for me, I shall be glad in the LORD.
Psalm 104:34
Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
2 Corinthians 5:9
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
My Name is Carter
I challenged myself to run in the Amboy 5K run on March 12. I figured it would be cold, but had no idea that it would be below freezing with ice on the road and a stiff wind blowing from the West. When I woke up early that morning to get ready for the men's Bible study, I looked out the window and thought I wouldn't follow through with the pre-paid running committment. Besides, I had been on vacation the entire week and I shouldn't take a chance at hurting myself a couple days before going back to work.
For some reason, I went ahead and dressed for the run anyway. I decided I would wear my older shoes so I wouldn't get my recently purchased running shoes slushy wet. The old shoes barely had any traction left on them. In the back of my mind, I thought, this would also be a reason why I should back out of the 5k run.
Off to the Bible study I went. Upon arriving, I had talked to some of the guys about what I was going to be engaging myself in about an hour and a half away. They all sounded shocked and agreed that it wasn't worth injuring myself. Besides, who could run on ice without any tread on their shoes.
I ended up leaving Bible study early to make it to Amboy in time to find a parking space and register (or at least see if there were any other crazy people who were committed to run this race). I even thought I might find a sign on the door that said the run had been canceled due to inclement weather. Upon arriving at the park, I noticed there were quite a few people who were warming up and ready for the run. Some dedicated runners even wore what I would consider summer running attire. Were they crazy? Was I crazy? I was still not convinced that I would run.
I parked as close as I could and walked to the building where I could pick up my number and gloves (At most Norris runs you receive a t-shirt. At this run, they hand out gloves). When I walked into the building I found several people huddled together keeping warm. When I entered the room to look for my number, I saw Mark Linna. He was encouraging to me to run, but had also mentioned that his support team (Thomas) had chosen to be indoors at a camp event instead of braving the cold with him.
I found my number, pinned it on and then took my "new gloves" back to the truck. Here, again, was another test. Would I get in and drive away or would I stay committed to running the race? There were about 15 minutes before the start of the race. I dropped off all unnecessary stuff in the truck and headed back for the race.
When I got back to the park area, I noticed Jeanette Merritt. She and I had talked about how we tried to talk ourselves out of running, For some reason we were here.
We lined up at the starting point jumping up down to keep our blood from freezing over and waited for the start. Finally after the signal was given. The race was on. I started running at a mild pace, thinking that I was going to be the only one who falls down and break a bone or tear a ligament. While I was intensely concentrating on every step as my treadless shoes hit the partially iced over pavement, I heard a guy behind me breathing. He eventually caught up to my speed and ended up not passing me.
After a minute or so of running to my left side he turned to me and said "This is my first run." He proceeded to tell me that he was in training for a "Golden Glove" which I think has to do with boxing. He had mentioned later that he wanted to become a professional boxer. After sharing some general information about our involvement in running he introduced himself to me. "My name is Carter." He asked if I minded if he ran at my pace with me. I was okay with that. A little motivation from someone would be greatly welcomed at this run! We were approaching the one mile marker. To my suprise, I had kept my regular pace despite all the odds against me (icy roads, treadless shoes, cold wind).
Another discouragement hit when we made a turn heading West. Remember that stiff wind I mentioned earlier? We were now running directly into the wind. It felt that every time I took a step, the wind would cause me to slide backwards on the ice. Carter mentioned something about this as well, so tread on shoes must not have been that much of a help.
By the time we got to mile three, we could see the finish line. Carter had decided to kick it into high gear and took off for the end. As soon as I had finished and regained my breathing pattern I decided to find Carter and congratulate him on completing his first run without any walking. What happened next was beyond my being. I can only attribute my speech to God speaking through me. It wasn't at this point that God began to work. It was earlier in the morning. A gentle nudging, a persistent spirit that drove me all the way to the race. It wasn't in my own will that brought me all the way to Amboy to do something that in my mind was ridiculous.
Carter and I exchanged congratulations and then we begain to share more small talk with each other. Our conversation turned to our faith. I had asked him to share his faith background at which he proceeded to share his life story. Carter had grown up without a father figure in his life. He lived with his mom and respected his grandmother, who had been a committed Christian, but never found a group of other believers that she felt like she was a part. Carter had married at a very early age because of what he thought was love. He had two kids with this wife. Their relationship started to break up with time and he realized that he had made a mistake in understanding love. Sometime after divorcing her he moved in with his new girlfriend and his two kids. Soon after, a third child came along. Carter and his girlfriend were attending a church where they felt accepted. He said that he and his girlfriend had felt convicted in their life style to make things right and commit to marriage.
When they approached the pastor of their church and explained their current life and how they wanted to make things right, they were refused a wedding. The pastor had said he does not want to have sinners like them in the church. I was amazed at such a comment. Evidentally, they found someone to marry them, but the troubles began with the church. People in the congregation begain shunning them and their once accepting group of people became the biggest reason why they are not currently connected with a church.
As you can imagine, this has caused quite a bit of bitterness and discouragement for Carter and his wife. Carter mentioned to me that he wants to do what is right, especially since he has three children who look up to him. He has stopped several things in his life and has committed to training and growing to become a better person.
Carter and his family live near a church in Peru. On Sunday mornings, if he happens to be outside when people are walking to church, he will be polite and say "Good morning," or "hello" but he said "those people just ignore me." Carter's life has been a rough life by my standards with a lot of odds against him. This sounds similar to running our race. We had so many odds against us, but we persevered and encouraged each other throughout the entire run. We ended up finishing the race.
Why has God brought me into Carter's life? Why has God brought Carter into my life? Only time will tell. I know that God allowed me to be at this race for this purpose. I can only rely on God to lead me in the next step. Does God want me to make a second contact with Carter, or do I only continue to pray for Carter and his family? Was Carter placed in my path to teach me a lesson? My mind is flooded with thoughts about this simple interchange with a stranger.
Lord, help me to be sensitive to your leading in answering these questions. I desire to do your will.
For some reason, I went ahead and dressed for the run anyway. I decided I would wear my older shoes so I wouldn't get my recently purchased running shoes slushy wet. The old shoes barely had any traction left on them. In the back of my mind, I thought, this would also be a reason why I should back out of the 5k run.
Off to the Bible study I went. Upon arriving, I had talked to some of the guys about what I was going to be engaging myself in about an hour and a half away. They all sounded shocked and agreed that it wasn't worth injuring myself. Besides, who could run on ice without any tread on their shoes.
I ended up leaving Bible study early to make it to Amboy in time to find a parking space and register (or at least see if there were any other crazy people who were committed to run this race). I even thought I might find a sign on the door that said the run had been canceled due to inclement weather. Upon arriving at the park, I noticed there were quite a few people who were warming up and ready for the run. Some dedicated runners even wore what I would consider summer running attire. Were they crazy? Was I crazy? I was still not convinced that I would run.
I parked as close as I could and walked to the building where I could pick up my number and gloves (At most Norris runs you receive a t-shirt. At this run, they hand out gloves). When I walked into the building I found several people huddled together keeping warm. When I entered the room to look for my number, I saw Mark Linna. He was encouraging to me to run, but had also mentioned that his support team (Thomas) had chosen to be indoors at a camp event instead of braving the cold with him.
I found my number, pinned it on and then took my "new gloves" back to the truck. Here, again, was another test. Would I get in and drive away or would I stay committed to running the race? There were about 15 minutes before the start of the race. I dropped off all unnecessary stuff in the truck and headed back for the race.
When I got back to the park area, I noticed Jeanette Merritt. She and I had talked about how we tried to talk ourselves out of running, For some reason we were here.
We lined up at the starting point jumping up down to keep our blood from freezing over and waited for the start. Finally after the signal was given. The race was on. I started running at a mild pace, thinking that I was going to be the only one who falls down and break a bone or tear a ligament. While I was intensely concentrating on every step as my treadless shoes hit the partially iced over pavement, I heard a guy behind me breathing. He eventually caught up to my speed and ended up not passing me.
After a minute or so of running to my left side he turned to me and said "This is my first run." He proceeded to tell me that he was in training for a "Golden Glove" which I think has to do with boxing. He had mentioned later that he wanted to become a professional boxer. After sharing some general information about our involvement in running he introduced himself to me. "My name is Carter." He asked if I minded if he ran at my pace with me. I was okay with that. A little motivation from someone would be greatly welcomed at this run! We were approaching the one mile marker. To my suprise, I had kept my regular pace despite all the odds against me (icy roads, treadless shoes, cold wind).
Another discouragement hit when we made a turn heading West. Remember that stiff wind I mentioned earlier? We were now running directly into the wind. It felt that every time I took a step, the wind would cause me to slide backwards on the ice. Carter mentioned something about this as well, so tread on shoes must not have been that much of a help.
By the time we got to mile three, we could see the finish line. Carter had decided to kick it into high gear and took off for the end. As soon as I had finished and regained my breathing pattern I decided to find Carter and congratulate him on completing his first run without any walking. What happened next was beyond my being. I can only attribute my speech to God speaking through me. It wasn't at this point that God began to work. It was earlier in the morning. A gentle nudging, a persistent spirit that drove me all the way to the race. It wasn't in my own will that brought me all the way to Amboy to do something that in my mind was ridiculous.
Carter and I exchanged congratulations and then we begain to share more small talk with each other. Our conversation turned to our faith. I had asked him to share his faith background at which he proceeded to share his life story. Carter had grown up without a father figure in his life. He lived with his mom and respected his grandmother, who had been a committed Christian, but never found a group of other believers that she felt like she was a part. Carter had married at a very early age because of what he thought was love. He had two kids with this wife. Their relationship started to break up with time and he realized that he had made a mistake in understanding love. Sometime after divorcing her he moved in with his new girlfriend and his two kids. Soon after, a third child came along. Carter and his girlfriend were attending a church where they felt accepted. He said that he and his girlfriend had felt convicted in their life style to make things right and commit to marriage.
When they approached the pastor of their church and explained their current life and how they wanted to make things right, they were refused a wedding. The pastor had said he does not want to have sinners like them in the church. I was amazed at such a comment. Evidentally, they found someone to marry them, but the troubles began with the church. People in the congregation begain shunning them and their once accepting group of people became the biggest reason why they are not currently connected with a church.
As you can imagine, this has caused quite a bit of bitterness and discouragement for Carter and his wife. Carter mentioned to me that he wants to do what is right, especially since he has three children who look up to him. He has stopped several things in his life and has committed to training and growing to become a better person.
Carter and his family live near a church in Peru. On Sunday mornings, if he happens to be outside when people are walking to church, he will be polite and say "Good morning," or "hello" but he said "those people just ignore me." Carter's life has been a rough life by my standards with a lot of odds against him. This sounds similar to running our race. We had so many odds against us, but we persevered and encouraged each other throughout the entire run. We ended up finishing the race.
Why has God brought me into Carter's life? Why has God brought Carter into my life? Only time will tell. I know that God allowed me to be at this race for this purpose. I can only rely on God to lead me in the next step. Does God want me to make a second contact with Carter, or do I only continue to pray for Carter and his family? Was Carter placed in my path to teach me a lesson? My mind is flooded with thoughts about this simple interchange with a stranger.
Lord, help me to be sensitive to your leading in answering these questions. I desire to do your will.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Blank thoughts
I am currently wanting to put my thoughts in the format, but I am having troubles with the transfer. I arrived at work knowing that I have a full plate of work ahead of me and several unanswered questions relating to the job search. Today we are interviewing a person that attends the same church as I do. I know her only casually and am somewhat looking forward to getting to know her on a professional level. I pray for God's guidance and direction of the right person for this position. I'm not fretting because I know that we have at least two candidates that could fill this position with a potential of a long-term commitment.
One more week of work and I will be on a one-week vacation. I'm looking for ward to that so I can shift my thinking away from thinking and give my brain a rest. Later next week, Anne and I are going to a Children's Ministry conference with a group of people. I will need to use my brain at that point so I can glean from the workshops I will be attending. I will be responsible for sharing my workshop with the others.
Snow is in the forecast. I always hope for a change in the weather pattern that dumps twice as much snow as what they are calling for, but it rarely happens. It seems that when I was younger it snowed a lot more than it does now. At any rate, enough snow to play in with my children will be fine.
Lord, give me the endurance for this week. Help me be efficient with my time and for the appointments I have to be worthwhile. Give me strength, wisdom and discernment for making a decision on the graphic designer job. I ask, too, that you prepare that person for this position. Give him/her a peace about the transition he/she would be making once the job is offered and a willingness for the longevity.
One more week of work and I will be on a one-week vacation. I'm looking for ward to that so I can shift my thinking away from thinking and give my brain a rest. Later next week, Anne and I are going to a Children's Ministry conference with a group of people. I will need to use my brain at that point so I can glean from the workshops I will be attending. I will be responsible for sharing my workshop with the others.
Snow is in the forecast. I always hope for a change in the weather pattern that dumps twice as much snow as what they are calling for, but it rarely happens. It seems that when I was younger it snowed a lot more than it does now. At any rate, enough snow to play in with my children will be fine.
Lord, give me the endurance for this week. Help me be efficient with my time and for the appointments I have to be worthwhile. Give me strength, wisdom and discernment for making a decision on the graphic designer job. I ask, too, that you prepare that person for this position. Give him/her a peace about the transition he/she would be making once the job is offered and a willingness for the longevity.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Great expectations
I woke up this morning after several snoozes in hopes that my day would be full of adventure. This morning is the start of a men's Bible study at church that has been a longing of several men in our community for quite some time. The women had a desire for a Bible study and they began one last Fall. Since it began, a sense of personal revival has spread across our church thorugh the ladies who have attended. Several husbands have caught a glimpse of this revival and have desired to have a time, too, they could spend together studying God's Word together.
I've learned over the years not to get too excited about something until it has proven it's worth. My prayer for this Bible study is for God to move in this group of men through to bring accountability and revival in each man that attends. I also have a desire and know that it is in God's will for the men to take this time on Saturday mornings to reflect on their life and what impact they are making in their life. Whether it be in their family or at work, I prayer for each individual to have a fire lit in his heart to be open to divine appointments and other interactions with his family and friends that are God-honoring, growth-producing chances to strengthen his soul and mind the way God wants us to be.
Lord, help me to not expect to be served in this setting, but to be an active part of encouraging other men in their walk. Help me to apply what I learn to benefit my life and those I come in contact with throughout my work, family, and rest.
I've learned over the years not to get too excited about something until it has proven it's worth. My prayer for this Bible study is for God to move in this group of men through to bring accountability and revival in each man that attends. I also have a desire and know that it is in God's will for the men to take this time on Saturday mornings to reflect on their life and what impact they are making in their life. Whether it be in their family or at work, I prayer for each individual to have a fire lit in his heart to be open to divine appointments and other interactions with his family and friends that are God-honoring, growth-producing chances to strengthen his soul and mind the way God wants us to be.
Lord, help me to not expect to be served in this setting, but to be an active part of encouraging other men in their walk. Help me to apply what I learn to benefit my life and those I come in contact with throughout my work, family, and rest.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Expecting change
Yesterday just about did me in. I had an intense day at work trying to get a project finished that was already late, then I was leading the 4-6 grade youth group at church and I felt that the whole focus was a bit weak. But, once again, God allowed for the words to flow, especially in the small group time with they boys.
The whole focus was on the parable of the wise and foolish builders. Chuck, Kevin and I challenged the boys to never stop expected to be changed. It is so easy to go to church, go to work, go back home and live a mediocre life and be content with that. But God calls us to expect change. He wants us to go to church expecting to come out a changed person. He wants us to go to work and expect change and likewise, to our families an expect to be a different person because of living our life according to God's Word.
I also have been frustrated with the leadership at camp. Though my involvement at this point is not a question of whether or not I am going to be involved, but how can I be a part of change for the better, it seems like an uphill battle that is going in the wrong direction.
Lord, I pray for you guidance in dealing with the situation in my life that cause me to stretch and call for change. Help me to see that this can make me a stronger person as long as I focus on doing what your Word lead me to do. I want to go into every situation in my life and expect change. Guide me, lead me, help me to focus.
Thank you for being such a big God. I was reading last night about how you know every move that I make, and it amazes me that you know that about every created being in this world. Talk about an organized system! Thank you for caring for little 'ol me in the great big world.
I love you, Lord
The whole focus was on the parable of the wise and foolish builders. Chuck, Kevin and I challenged the boys to never stop expected to be changed. It is so easy to go to church, go to work, go back home and live a mediocre life and be content with that. But God calls us to expect change. He wants us to go to church expecting to come out a changed person. He wants us to go to work and expect change and likewise, to our families an expect to be a different person because of living our life according to God's Word.
I also have been frustrated with the leadership at camp. Though my involvement at this point is not a question of whether or not I am going to be involved, but how can I be a part of change for the better, it seems like an uphill battle that is going in the wrong direction.
Lord, I pray for you guidance in dealing with the situation in my life that cause me to stretch and call for change. Help me to see that this can make me a stronger person as long as I focus on doing what your Word lead me to do. I want to go into every situation in my life and expect change. Guide me, lead me, help me to focus.
Thank you for being such a big God. I was reading last night about how you know every move that I make, and it amazes me that you know that about every created being in this world. Talk about an organized system! Thank you for caring for little 'ol me in the great big world.
I love you, Lord
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
As Far as Faith Will Take Me
There's so much I don't know.
Do I stay here or go?
Do I try to find my own way,
Or turn back for home.
Though the path disappears,
If I don't move, You can't steer.
I want to follow Your direction,
But until the way is clear,
I'll go as far as faith will take me.
When I can't see down that road.
I'll go as far as faith will take me,
And You will me where I need to go.
Gonna try, wanna trust,
Help me never give up.
'Cause You walked this road before me,
And that should be enough.
When I'm scared, when I'm blind,
When it's all an uphill climb,
I can cover any distance,
Taking one step at a time.
I see so many limitation on my life,
So help me walk by faith and not by sight.
--------
I listened to this song on my way to work after my first post this morning. How fitting. Thank you, Lord for speaking to me through this song. I goes hand in hand with how I was feeling this morning. You are the author of my life. I am always amazed at how you weave together all elements to make perfect sense in my life. How many times must you remind me before I grab hold of Your wonderful grace and guidance.
Thank you again and again.
Do I stay here or go?
Do I try to find my own way,
Or turn back for home.
Though the path disappears,
If I don't move, You can't steer.
I want to follow Your direction,
But until the way is clear,
I'll go as far as faith will take me.
When I can't see down that road.
I'll go as far as faith will take me,
And You will me where I need to go.
Gonna try, wanna trust,
Help me never give up.
'Cause You walked this road before me,
And that should be enough.
When I'm scared, when I'm blind,
When it's all an uphill climb,
I can cover any distance,
Taking one step at a time.
I see so many limitation on my life,
So help me walk by faith and not by sight.
--------
I listened to this song on my way to work after my first post this morning. How fitting. Thank you, Lord for speaking to me through this song. I goes hand in hand with how I was feeling this morning. You are the author of my life. I am always amazed at how you weave together all elements to make perfect sense in my life. How many times must you remind me before I grab hold of Your wonderful grace and guidance.
Thank you again and again.
Messing Up
The best thing about messing up is knowing that I can turn to God and get His correction and forgiveness. "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth if full of his unfailing love." Psalm 33:4-5
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep you toungue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:11-14
So many times I feel that I give in to the flesh and not allow the spirit to lead me. God, I ask for your forgiveness when I choose to walk my way and not Yours. You never have failed to teach me from Your word that you still love me even when I mess up. Even when I am lazy or discouraged about my life, my job, my responsibilites, You are constant in showing me in a peaceful manner that I need to relax into your arms and ask for you to guide me.
I ask you to provide for me today a plan of attack, when I am tempted to do what you do not want me to do. Remind me to always consult you first and then make my decision on what I am going to do.
I love you Lord.
"Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep you toungue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:11-14
So many times I feel that I give in to the flesh and not allow the spirit to lead me. God, I ask for your forgiveness when I choose to walk my way and not Yours. You never have failed to teach me from Your word that you still love me even when I mess up. Even when I am lazy or discouraged about my life, my job, my responsibilites, You are constant in showing me in a peaceful manner that I need to relax into your arms and ask for you to guide me.
I ask you to provide for me today a plan of attack, when I am tempted to do what you do not want me to do. Remind me to always consult you first and then make my decision on what I am going to do.
I love you Lord.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Everyday
Everyday. I've desired to have a journal that would be easy to use. Something where I can type my thoughts, jot a note, include a prayer or just sound-off. I suppose I will try this form and see if it is as convenient as I think it might be.
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